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Go on and bloody do it love, I’m (not) watching you

Outside Number 10 for the reception for Sport Relief fundraisers. Awful double chin captured but I love the pic. Surrounded by lovely people who pick me up a lot.

The last few months have been an utter whirlwind. I’ve done a lot of things I’m very proud of. One of the worst things about that is that I can’t tell my mum. And some of these things are about me carrying on her legacy, about caring about the end to world poverty and doing something about it.

I’m an athiest, I don’t believe she’s in heaven. I am happy for other people when they say they know she knows, but for me, I know she doesn’t.

I’ve talked to friends and family about how tough that feels, it helps.

But there is one other way to try and cope with those feelings, this picture is the last time Mum and I went out for lunch together. The Beatles All You Need is Love was playing in the back ground, Mum was singing along and drinking beer. She was tired and confused from her radiotherapy, but she has that characteristic cheeky grin and raised eyebrow I know and love. Mischief.

In my mind it is as if she is saying ‘Go on and bloody do it love, I’m watching you’. She may not be watching me anymore, but that mum, that you see in the picture and who runs through me, she’s still very much there.

I’m running 6 miles on Sunday for Sport Relief, the end of an epic journey to raise money for Comic Relief, to help people in tough circumstances in the UK and worldwide. ¬†This week has been really tough, but their lives are tougher.

love you Mum

x

 

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