She said spread your wings my little butterfly – Little Legacy

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Mama told me not to waste my life,

She said spread your wings my little butterfly

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Don’t let what they say keep you up at night
And they can’t detain you

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‘Cause wings are made to fly
And we don’t let nobody bring us down

 

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No matter what you say – it won’t hurt me

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Don’t matter if I fall from the sky
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These wings are made to fly
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Mothers Day can be a bit of a mixed bag of emotions, I know my kids have big plans for me, they keep letting all their secret plans slip out. So I like to make time and space to remember my own Mum, ahead of the day.

I’ve dedicated lots of words to my Mum, her little legacies run through this blog. I found my voice as she lost hers to brain cancer in 2010. Blogging about losing her was the way I found my way, and into a new life writing for a living.

Dancing to Wings by Little Mix in the Swag section of the Red Nose Day Danceathon on Sunday, reminded me how much music and dance meant to her, and how good she was at finding the joy in things. The words really stuck in my head, and as I attempted the crazy dance moves I felt myself emerging butterfly like from what has felt like a bit of a cocoon. I wanted to do something with them.

I lost my way last week, with blogging, with life, with being a mum.

I lost my way this year, travelling to Kenya with Comic Relief was incredible, but took my grasp on the world from under my feet. Organising fundraising efforts since we got back has been fantastic, but emotional. It was worth every gram of energy, Team Honk raised 30 thousand pounds for Red Nose Day.

Putting these words and images of me and Mum together put me back on track, reminds me who I really am.

I wish she could have stayed a longer, to teach me how to juggle life as a mother, but when I look back, she gave me the greatest tool box for grown up living.

Sleep solutions, mind mapping, diary keeping, changing the world, marriage guidance, toddler taming, play therapy, recipespermission to fail at the school gate –  just some of the little legacies I have blogged about here.

My Mum inspired me to write, to travel, to make a difference in the world. To appreciate the little things and build big dreams.

 

These wings are made to fly, thanks Mum x

 

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28 Comments

  1. Katy Hill
    11/03/2015 / 7:19 am

    GORGEOUS post Penny! Wow. Just beautiful xx

    • parentshaped
      11/03/2015 / 3:22 pm

      Thanks Katy and thanks for tweeting it earlier xxx

  2. 11/03/2015 / 10:20 am

    Oh Penny what beautiful photos and memories you have and I love how she gives you strength, even now.

    Much love you and good luck with the competition x

    • parentshaped
      11/03/2015 / 3:22 pm

      She definitely does 🙂 xx Thank you

  3. 11/03/2015 / 10:25 am

    Oh Penny. So beautiful. You have me in tears here x

    • parentshaped
      11/03/2015 / 3:22 pm

      No more tears this week! xxx

    • parentshaped
      11/03/2015 / 3:23 pm

      I will come and find it xxx

  4. Mammasaurus
    11/03/2015 / 11:57 am

    Oh Penny, I am welling up here now. I’m so glad you’ve found your way back on track x

    • parentshaped
      11/03/2015 / 3:23 pm

      It’s been an adventure hasn’t it xxx

  5. 11/03/2015 / 12:18 pm

    What a beautiful and moving post, glad you are finding your feet again xx

    • parentshaped
      11/03/2015 / 3:23 pm

      Thanks Sonya xxx

  6. Andrea
    11/03/2015 / 12:21 pm

    Beautifully written Penny, this has left me in years after writing about my own Mum this week.

  7. 11/03/2015 / 12:27 pm

    That is so beautiful and poignant Penny. I think we all lose our way sometimes, I am lucky that my mum is still around but I know that since her diagnosis of Parkinsons last year, I have definitely learned to appreciate her all the more. You mum was obviously amazing and she would be very proud of you.

    • parentshaped
      11/03/2015 / 3:24 pm

      Much love to you Nikki, my Grandad had Parkinsons, hope your Mum is doing as well as she can xxx

  8. 11/03/2015 / 3:10 pm

    Beautiful pictures and words – I’m glad you’ve found your way back (& awed by your fabulous fundraising efforts)

    • parentshaped
      11/03/2015 / 3:25 pm

      Thank you, what a team of people – makes anything possible xxx

  9. 11/03/2015 / 9:33 pm

    OK, so someone needs to pass me the Kleenex. Lovely post Penny with a beautiful sentiment which has affected me on a number of levels. Xx

  10. 12/03/2015 / 6:49 am

    Such a beautiful post and I am so sorry you lost your mum so soon. It’s natural to lose your feet now and then, especially when you have seen as much injustice in the world as you have.
    What you are doing with your blog, writing about your mum, fundraising for Comic Relief, raising awareness, building a career, parenting…. well, it just blows me away. You are not just flying lovely, you are soaring!

  11. 12/03/2015 / 11:01 am

    Such a beautiful post and gorgeous photos, I hope that you are able to follow in her footsteps to Bruges

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  13. 12/03/2015 / 3:52 pm

    Gorgeous post Penny – so emotional.

    I’m struggling a little bit with all the Mothers Day build up this year as it’s been 10 years since my Mum died and I really seem to be feeling it more than usual this year x x

  14. 12/03/2015 / 10:44 pm

    Ahh Penny my heart aches for you as I read this but how lucky you are to have such special memories and legacies left by your Mum. Beautiful post, Mich x

  15. 14/03/2015 / 1:33 pm

    Such a beautiful post! I hope you have her there with you tomorrow too in all the small details of the day.

  16. Helen @actuallyblog
    16/03/2015 / 2:36 pm

    Ah Penny what a wonderful post to write for Mother’s Day. Such lovely memories and pictures. You are such a GOOD person, and I’m guessing she would be massively proud of you x

  17. Oh Penny – sorry to have only just caught up with this. Your mums looks amazing and beautiful – and incredibly young. Once again, I cannot comprehend your massive loss and am very, very sorry for you. It is like she is still with you and, although you may falter, you will still fly, thanks to her. Much love, XXX

  18. 20/03/2015 / 8:46 pm

    Oh I have a lump in my throat now. I’ve just discovered your blog and your words about your Mum and how she has influenced your life. Such positive memories and so important when we feel lost to remind ourselves of who / what our mothers saw in us too. Thank you for sharing x

    • parentshaped
      23/03/2015 / 10:01 pm

      Thanks for visiting, and thanks for pointing that out, it really does make a difference to remind ourselves what our parents saw sometimes!

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