I am four, clinging on without realising it, to the last full days with my mum before I have to start school. We are sitting on the back of the bus back from town, learning to sing abc. I know I have her undivided attention for the whole journey. My mind takes a picture and the moment stays crystal clear in my memory bank to this day.
Then I am five, sitting on the top deck of a double decker, again with my mum, holding the shelf in front of the very front seats, giggling and shrieking that we are going to crash into everything.
My 4yo is suddenly at an age I can remember being. Sometimes that’s painful, because it reminds me so much of the mum I have lost. But last week it helped me out of a rut. Recently I have been restless, I don’t want to go to another playgroup, to go to the same park or be tripping over toys and scooters anymore. It’s partly down to bereavement, partly down to timing. I needed to feel enthused about my parenting again.
So I thought back to what stuck out about being at home with my mum before I went to school. I honestly can’t remember a single minute of playgroup or a park. She would probably laugh if I was able to tell her that now. All those hours spent pushing me on swings, breaking up squabbles, sitting on draughty community centre floors.
What I do remember clearly is taking the bus into town and going shopping. So, I threw caution to the wind of childcentric activities and took my two on the bus into Nottingham. It didn’t disappoint. They helped me choose two pairs of shoes and some make up. We watched the clock in the Victoria centre and we had lunch in John Lewis.
But the best bit for them was the bus. Meeting old ladies, watching police men and traffic, arriving somewhere new. Oh and the bus stop, because it’s right outside our house.
What do you do when you get in a parenting rut? Oh, and pop quiz, which band and track inspired the post title?
little legacy A small thing handed down by a predecessor
Little legacy is a remembrance project , a positive and creative space, to celebrate small things handed down by predecessors. I am going to post one every Thursday. If you want to join me at any point, either as a project or a one off, there’s more information here and a space to link up below, or simply join in through the comments.